It is just moments before I undergo minor knee surgery. Without notice I begin hemorrhaging. This moment is frightening, and I find myself embarrassed, bewildered and fearful of the implications it may hold. Even with modern technology some things are out of our control. The nurse seems as uncertain as I am, and though kind, she offers little comfort. Thankfully I make it through my surgery without any further delay, but this pattern continues once I return home. For the next several weeks I am at the mercy of my own body.

Stretched out on the couch, I begin pondering the woman who walked this similar journey during the time of Christ. My heart sinks as I think of her torment. In comparison my life has only been put on hold for 20 days, I can only fathom the plight of facing this stigma day after day for 12 years.

Unanswered questions taunt me and my compassion is growing for this woman as I continue in her steps. Who was she? How did she feel?

Luke 8:43,44 seems to offer me little background. As I read, I am shocked as her story is bridged within one sentence.
”And a woman who had a hemorrhage for twelve years, and could not be healed by anyone, came up behind Him, and touched the fringe of His (Jesus) cloak; and immediately her hemorrhage stopped.”

Isn’t it funny how we often skim over the hurts of others until we find ourselves facing the same heartbreak or fears?

“To empathize is to have sympathy with understanding.”

I have read this verse countless times but my focus has always been on the result, not the journey. Today my heart encompasses both and as these questions whirl around in my head, they beg answers. I find none.

My empathy is growing and as my sympathy rests, this is my heartfelt attempt to fill in the details of her life.

“FAITH BEYOND THE BLOOD” By Lori Clounie

For days I have felt sluggish. Days turned into weeks, and now years later I find myself still wondering why this horrible and vial misery has sought my life? At first it was personal, the inconvenience of it all. Once the looks began, I knew it was no longer something I could conceal. The volume and mass of my problem brought with it the stench and the smell. “Blood!”

The stigma is almost as bad as the reality. Day in and day out I carry this burden.

“Unclean.”

What must I have done to bring God’s wrath so vividly, so public?

I question Him and ponder the choices, the clues that will bring forth some answers. Yet even after all this time, silence resounds. It rings louder than any noise in my head. I consider my options. None bring back the dignity I once took for granted. How I long for friends. Just to walk among my people without ridicule or judgment. This day seems far off for me and close to non-existent.

Yet today I hear of a miracle worker.

The crowds invade Him as if they are plundering a great treasure, closing in, ready to take what they can glean. I fear I will never be able to approach such a master of the people. My fear turns into despair and elevates me to proceed with hope. So I walk.

From a far I see that I must be swift in my approach if I am to have any success. My resolve is strong as I study this man’s demeanor. A peace begins to flood my heart and I am certain of His power.

I am nothing that I should want from this man, yet I cannot help myself. “If only I could touch even the hem of His garment?”

My faith pushes me forward. The crowd is thick and intense but I press on. Coming within inches I stretch out my hand while trying to avoid getting trampled upon. I gently feel the hem of His robe. Without pause, I feel an instant rush of power surging through me and healing my body.

Fear begins gripping my heart. “What have I done?”

I turn away hoping to escape though the crowd without detection. I am swift looking to find any way out of this maze. An awkward stillness settles over the crowd. As I glance over my shoulder I see the mob parting behind me and I realize all eyes are directed at me as Jesus approaches.

Jesus asks, “Who touched my garment?”

Certainly He could not know it was I?

He looks into my eyes and reaches through to the depth of my soul shattering the penetrating silence that once stood in its place. I begin to weep.

The blood that overtook my body, my strength and my dignity has been healed indeed, but I find myself wanting more, more than the hem of his garment, wanting the entire man.

I long for His acceptance, His love and His approval.
I believe in His forgiveness, His power, His strength.

Instantly I see beyond the obvious. Others see a prophet or man of healing, but I see Him as God.
My God.

I desired healing within my body and found resolution within my heart. I touched His hem, He touched my soul. I am healed.

Luke 8:43-48
“And a woman who had a hemorrhage for twelve years, and could not be healed by anyone, came up behind Him, and touched the fringe of His cloak; and immediately her hemorrhage stopped.
And Jesus said, “Who is the one who touched me?” And while they were all denying it, Peter said, “Master the multitudes are crowding and pressing upon You.”
But Jesus said, “Someone did touch Me, for I was aware that power had gone out of Me.”
And when the woman saw that she had not escaped notice, she came trembling and fell down before Him, and declared in the presence of all the people the reason why she had touched Him, and how she had been immediately healed. And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”

Dear friends, may you too find yourself wanting more; more of this man called Jesus, who heals, who loves, who accepts and who forgives. Today may you find enough courage to trust Him and walk forward, pressing on in your faith!

Ephesians 5:1,2
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;
and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you,
and gave Himself up for us,
an offering and sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

I love the smell of fresh laundry, especially if it’s been hanging all day in the breeze soaking up the sunshine on a clothes line!

Unfortunately not too long after, the clothes become soiled,
the sheets need changed, and the towels need cleaned.
The scent I love never seems to last long enough.

As I walk in the love of Christ, whether in my attitude, my actions or in my faith, it is my hope that I give off an aroma that others will notice and find pleasing.

As my impatience, reactions and weaknesses get in the way,
I gain a “whiff” of my own disobedience and realize I no longer reflect the love of Jesus.

It is at this moment that I seek God and ask to be cleansed once more.

Amazingly, Jesus never loses His fragrant aroma for His sacrifice is covered with the blood He has shed for us!

When we accept Jesus Christ, we accept His forgiveness and we are covered by the fragrant aroma of His sacrifice.

As I ponder the thought of Almighty God looking at me,
I imagine Jesus standing in front of me covering me with His hands stretched out wide.

His grace and mercy covers me removing every imperfection, every sin,
and replaces it with His righteousness,
in essence I am redeemed.

So today, I encourage you, together let us put on the love of Jesus Christ and as we “get in the way” of imitating Christ in our actions,
let us … stop, repent and desire the aroma that only Jesus can offer!

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Hospitality is God given.  I believe that is true. But I also believe it is learned.  From generation to generation we pass on traits, among them, teaching those in our homes of the value of putting others before ourselves.  

Is there any better example of servanthood, than to serve?  I am still tweaking and improving this process of hostessing.

My husband Tom and I love to entertain, but shamefully I should say that I have had the venue perfect but my own heart unwelcoming.  Exhaustion from making everything “just so” has destroyed not only the relationships in our home by  speaking harsh words in haste but moreover it has robbed my own joy of being with my friends.  Which if you think about it, isn’t this the whole idea anyway?

As I write I am still gleaning many of the truths I share, I hope you will gain some as well.  I would love to hear your stories of mishap and success.

If you have time, comment on your own “kernels” of wisdom.  Please know that I value your thoughts and that you are always welcome here!

“WELCOME MAT TO MY HEART”

Soft pink and white tissue paper peeks out tucked just beneath a bountiful row of fluffy pink slippers, size 0 to 11. Basket after basket lay stacked covering my room, 20 to be exact. The correlation of them all looks like a whimsical parade of cotton candy. It’s the final detail in my much anticipated “Women’s Spa Day.” It seemed like a crazy endeavor to undertake, but months later it has come together just as I had imagined.

It’s late Thursday evening and I’m fussing about making sure each detail is exact, perfect. I look across my efforts displayed with delight. From the next room I hear a soft chuckle as my husband peeks around the corner. I sigh believing he must think I’m nuts. Before I can assemble the words, he smiles and says, “I get it.” I offer him a bewildered look as he continues to explain. “It’s your way of making them feel special, right?”

His words encourage me and I am hopeful for the same reaction come tomorrow. Certainly if my husband can understand my motives, these 50 ladies will embrace the warmth of my heart.

Event after event I have found that women just want to know that they are valued, important and above all, loved. How to convey this is the trick.

Can I truly love someone I have never met or have only indulged in brief conversation? Maybe not the love that comes from years of invested friendship, but I do believe that the love of Christ can transcend all in unfamiliar circles.

Platforms, agenda’s and programs are vital to give substance to any well thought out gathering, but just as well placed are the variables that surround them. Unless you are a person creating big venues, the majority of us find that our greatest moments are usually found in our home or back yard, hosting friends, family and loved ones.

Picnic tables, BBQ’s and camp fires allow us the perfect avenue to enjoy those we hold dear, if only for just a few short hours. Either way both venues can create an opportunity to bring people into our world, lavishing our best efforts on them, hoping to make them feel special for the time they are with us.

Welcome to my Home ….   

To suggest that we need to make people feel that we desire their company in our home seems ludicrous. After all didn’t we invite them? But in fact many of us have entered into an evening where the clock seemed to scurry us out the door even before our stomach had time to digest dinner, true? So what do we do to create this warm inviting environment?

In my own life, I enjoy the feeling of tranquility, a place of calm, like being whisked away if only for a brief escape from the daily grind. I guess in essence, a place that feels like “vacation!” For myself, the best memories of feeling this way were played out in acts of simplicity in homes with very intentional hosts.

My mother Elaine was the best at this. Our home was never fancy, but candles were always lit, making the room scented with the undertones of cinnamon and clove. Food was always plenty, and friends were always welcome.

Many of my mother’s traits naturally come out when I am hosting. Even with the flowers placed, candles lit and music set in motion I find that one thing can often be missing, “Me!”

Giving yourself permission to have things “less than perfect” is key, especially if you are a perfectionist like I tend to be at times. My mother taught me this. My own expectations often get in the way of what is actually expected.

So relax …… enjoy the process, don’t get too caught up in the details.

Place your focus on your guests! Though this is something that may not come naturally, as you work at it you will find that you will enjoy yourself more creating much less stress for everyone.

So send out the invitations!

And noted, although paper is always a nice touch, a group text will work just fine. Remember, the “less” expectations, the “less” stress, the “nicer” you will be.  After all, it’s you they are coming for!

As you put out the welcome mat, plan the menu and clean the house, be mindful as each guest arrives to put on a smile, embracing each person, greeting them with a genuine heartfelt sincerity.

But above all, put on the heart of Jesus Christ, for these are the things that truly make someone feel “welcome!”

I Peter 4:9,10 “Be hospitable to one another without complaint. As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”

Often as we grow older we forget the simple truths that we have learned over the years.  One such truth comes back to me time and time again.

My children are grown now but I remember one summer in particular.  They were both in their elementary age years just beginning in their faith journey.  Wanting to stress the importance of God’s Word, I cut out scripture cards.  Being somewhat of a perfectionist, I never seem to make any project simple.  So after decorating the cards, highlighting the various verbs, cutting them out and laminating them, they were finally ready to be hung with purpose on my refrigerator.  Agreed, a bit overkill.

It began as a simple lesson for my two young ones but turned into a life changing routine for myself.

Philippians 4:8 & 9  “Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worth of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.  The things you have leaned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things; and the God of peace shall be with you.”    

My cards were taped with pride to the front of my fridge.   The simple choices did not apply, but the decisions that fell into the “gray” areas of our life brought this process front and center.  “Can we watch this movie?”  “Is this word okay to say?” … you get the idea.  Choices about how we treated others, motives and actions, movies or books as well as how we interacted within our family were all at the scrutiny of this verse that God so thought provokingly placed in our home.

God’s Word became came the “plumb line” {a tool used for determining whether or not something is perfectly vertical i.e. “upright}  that we measured our actions and thoughts against.  This may seem an obvious truth, however the action involved with it is less endearing.

Choosing to give up something you enjoy, desire or consider borderline because it is not God’s best is difficult.  But the choice to do so has brought great peace in my own life while the choice not to has often brought turmoil.  Even today as I watch a movie or ponder a conversation, I keep this verse in mind.

Recently I have picked up on watching a television show that I truly enjoy.  It is not blatantly bad, but the undertone  would press hard against this verse.  It has been a difficult decision that I have struggled with as I place God’s Word as a “plumb line” among my own desires.  In my heart I know the right answer, but my actions to abandon this “earthly” pleasure have been slow to follow.  You may find yourself in a similar situation.

All I know is this … God’s Word is truth.   Together we can take His wisdom and choose to apply it or disregard it.  Isn’t our God amazing that He offers His wisdom and allows us to freely choose its acceptance?  Some days I think not, as it have been to my own demise when I have chosen badly.

But I press on, knowing that as I do, God’s grace and mercy stand firmly beside me walking through the choices in my life bringing me that much closer to becoming more like Him.

Recently I sat down and watched the classic movie, “Pollyanna.” I love her concept of being glad, always looking for the good and “choosing” joy!  Throughout the movie, Pollyanna speaks of her father’s quest to find the “glad” chapters dropped within the pages of the Bible.  Over the years it has become one of my favorite movies.

I’ve often wondered if the director of this film was a fan of the Psalms.  For long before Pollyanna, the Bible records the words of David. He too wrote of looking for the good, being glad and choosing joy.

So often we are content with immediately finding the negative and becoming disgruntled within the situations of our day.

So today I will make a conscience “choice” to be glad.

I will “choose” to be joyful.

I will sing praises from every part of my being, knowing that our God is worthy of them all!

If together we choose joy and express gladness it won’t be long before the world will notice and ask “Why?”.   It is then we can answer with a smile on our face and declare our reason with clarity, “Jesus!”   I pray that today you too will “choose” joy and be “glad!”

Psalm 104:33,34

“I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praise to God while I have my being. Let my meditation be pleasing to Him; As for me, I shall be glad in the Lord.”

This morning I was reading the very familiar passage in Jeremiah 29:11 … “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans of welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope”

But what I find is that most people stop there.

We all want good in our lives, hope, and a future …. but the next verse continues with the thought of “seeking” “searching” and “finding” God …. the process and action part of actually looking for God.

But do we truly look for God? I began pondering this, and asking God, how exactly He desires me to look for Him, to search for Him, to seek.

I imagine sitting in a room full of believers as they discuss the standard answers that come instantly to mind …  prayer, reading, studying and searching God’s Word for truth.    All true and good answers.

But deeper thoughts become apparent. In addition to reading His word, I need to apply and live His word. As I do, I become aware of who God truly is. He becomes a live tangible part of what I do every day.

Seeking, Searching, Finding …. my ultimate hearts desire.

I press on hoping that as I do, God will reveal all of Himself to me. But it takes action on my part to “look” for God … in his Word, in opportunities and within my own heart, knowing that only He can satisfy and be the “good,” the “hope” and “future” I desire.

Jeremiah 29:12-14 “Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with ALL of your heart. And I will be found by you, declares the Lord!”

The process continues in my own life. The questions still push forward in my thoughts. But today, I will seek, I will search and I will look for God …. knowing that in Him I will find the answers!