A few weeks ago I began going to our local YMCA. I’m focusing on “getting strong” and this is one area that I am excited to tackle. Well, that was until I actually “went” to tackle it. Taking the first steps towards change are always the hardest but with a little “perspective,” an awkward moment can hopefully transition into an empowering one.
Alas, my awkward moment ……
It had been over a year since I last walked through these intimidating doors.
Today I am facing them again.
Don’t get me wrong, I actually (well mostly) enjoy coming here, but it always seems that some “excuse” arises from the deep and I don’t go.
So, today I’m pushing back.
Too much work at the office? Not enough time? Maybe I should just go next week.
“Next” week is here and so here I am.
I’m excited. I’ve got my bright blue sneakers on and I am ready to go for it.
Well, that is until I catch my reflection.
(Wow. Didn’t see that one coming.)
A woman is simultaneously walking through the next set of doors just a few steps in front of me.
My enthusiasm is busted and so is my motivation.
Seriously, I’m the same size as her?
As I had watched her approach the doors just a few seconds ago, I had given her a hearty “bravo” and secretly applauded her for her determination to “show up” despite her non-athletic appearance.
“Good for her!” I thought, not knowing that in just moments I would be judged by my own standards .
In I plow, sarcastically saying “bravo” under my breath for my efforts.
I check in with a deflated smirk and after 30 minutes of “squats,” and other such things, I decide to start walking on the outside track.
The idea of her image aligning with mine kept resurfacing as I walked.
Why is this so bothersome?
Realizing that this is the image you all see was humbling to me.
As I walk, my thoughts start churning and as always I start trying to draw a lesson out of this.
I think of God.
If Jesus were standing directly in front of me, would “who I am” align within the image of “who He is?”
Seeing my reflection in the boundaries of this woman left me embarrassed of myself.
But what if I could see my reflection in the picture of Christ, how would this make me feel?
Getting stronger can be difficult.
It stretches us.
Today, I looked in the “mirror” physically and spiritually.
1 Corinthians 13:12 “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”
It was a hard moment, but as with any change, in order to become who we want to be, we have to acknowledge and realize who we are.
Knowing I am fully known, fully loved is a great start.